questions...many of them...
tis world is dead...let me end too...
it's past 1 day now. i've been thinking a lot within e past 24hrs. everything juz seems so tiring. i dunno how long can i hold out. haven been myself since e whole event happened. i'm so lost.
a lot of tots passed thru my mind...qns esp. each time i recollect wad happen tat moment. e emotions. e tots. e pain n anguish. tears juz cant hold but start collecting in eyes. tis pain n anguish, e exact same feeling i had felt last yr at e national shooting prelims, only tat it's stronger tis time...so strong. sadness overwhelmes me...
qns go on 4ever tis few days...
i'm thinking...shld i really continue?...cant i juz give up?...having come all tis way, it's sad n painful but w wad happen...how long can i really hold? I dun wan it to tis way. i wasnt expecting it to end tis way. WHY???..........*sobz*...can anyone hear my call...? i really cant take it anymore...i've cant recognise my ownself anymore...wad hav i become?...
it's gonna b hard to recover from tis. how long will i take...? e last phase of tis journey seems too steep too straight up...juz like a vertical wall. wad if i dun recover...? my heart is having a real hard time piecing itself back 2gether...so hard tat i dunno if it will ever b pieced back.
everything juz look dead now. every human tat passes me..they look like zombies, or if mayb if i am e zombie, not knowing if i'm dead or alive. nth seems alive in me anymore. living in a mist of confusion, i cant walk forward. i cant see waz in front...
i'm STILL lost...
i need someone...someone i can lean on so i can cry...
let's end tis...so silent n cold, let myself end...cant i...?
a lot of tots passed thru my mind...qns esp. each time i recollect wad happen tat moment. e emotions. e tots. e pain n anguish. tears juz cant hold but start collecting in eyes. tis pain n anguish, e exact same feeling i had felt last yr at e national shooting prelims, only tat it's stronger tis time...so strong. sadness overwhelmes me...
qns go on 4ever tis few days...
i'm thinking...shld i really continue?...cant i juz give up?...having come all tis way, it's sad n painful but w wad happen...how long can i really hold? I dun wan it to tis way. i wasnt expecting it to end tis way. WHY???..........*sobz*...can anyone hear my call...? i really cant take it anymore...i've cant recognise my ownself anymore...wad hav i become?...
it's gonna b hard to recover from tis. how long will i take...? e last phase of tis journey seems too steep too straight up...juz like a vertical wall. wad if i dun recover...? my heart is having a real hard time piecing itself back 2gether...so hard tat i dunno if it will ever b pieced back.
everything juz look dead now. every human tat passes me..they look like zombies, or if mayb if i am e zombie, not knowing if i'm dead or alive. nth seems alive in me anymore. living in a mist of confusion, i cant walk forward. i cant see waz in front...
i'm STILL lost...
i need someone...someone i can lean on so i can cry...
let's end tis...so silent n cold, let myself end...cant i...?
