what am i livin' for?
well. results were out ytd. yea. and in fact i felt it was a little unexpected, considering the number of mistakes i made in the exam. and moreover, distinction rate was capped at 5%, so i tot it was kinda difficult. but oh well, the result had a strange turnout.
but couldnt really be bothered with e results anyway. god. n there's still a self-select timetabling to do tis coming tuesday. sighs.
hmm. life hasnt been very interesting at all. ups & dwns are at zero level. tis is pathetic. i really cant stand it any longer. playin' GE everyday. i cant quite stand it. somehow i'm getting tired of playing computer games.
what am i living for everyday? even i wan to know wad i've really been doing. oh god. ARH!!!
coming to shooting. i hav started to train for the biathlon shoot next mth. my standard for pistol shooting really dropped a whole lot since i last shot...like 2 yrs ago, and which lasted like only a few wks? hahahaha. guess it's more training.
alrite. coming bac to the topic. i'm seriously looking for an answer to tis.
it seems there's like a long list of things to do, but i juz dn feel like doing it.
1) mounting my tv onto e wall
2) reading up on ASP.NET & SQL Server
3) reformatting my comp
4) tidying up my room
or maybe it aint that long a list. but it does take quite a while to get those things done.
but. it seems to me that the purpose of living my life has become rather unclear. the short term purpose that is. not the long term one, that is in the future. as a matter of fact, the future one seems kinda vague too. oh...wadever.
my mind is rotting so much, even i'm starting to lose direction of where i'm movin' towards. sighs.
i hav a few big things in mind i wna achieve. but i feel i'm losing grip from wad i'm trying reach out for.
1) bringing NPSC to a whole new level, where wad shooters shld be, and of cos wad a shooting club shld really be.
2) change the world is another big thing. and a humongous thing, in fact. (but dn think on the lines of Evan Almighty. there's no way i'm doing that.)
3) learn new things. try out new things. things with high risk, high experience of adventure.
but there are things lacking to accomplish them. i dno wad exactly it is. is it courage? or is it comradeship?
i feel it's comradeship. but am i lacking courage? i dno.
am i really to seek out a destiny that lonely? to accomplish things on my own, is that wad i'm living for? or am i alrdy losing myself, my mind, and my sanity?
........
