问世间情为何物;
Ask the world what is love.
Ask the world what is love.
life's been boring. again. it always has been since the start of this holidays. well at least it's gna end QUITE soon.
hmm. ve'been training for biathlon shoot which is nxt sun. 200 shots of rifle & 200 shots of pistol. it's gna b super speed shooting for me. n esp. there's been some problems for my rifle ever since i started using my shooting specs since last fri. i can hardly c e target!
ok nvm 'bout that. now. abt the title.
i was sitting in the bus tis afternoon, going towards htns for my training, basically. as usual, listening to my ipod's music. but tis tot kinda struck me n got me thinking real hard.
wad really is love? literally, in the most direct sense that is. not all other kinds of love.
all of a sudden, i found myself thinking that i dn really seem to know wad love meant anymore.
so wad is it? i always hear & see tis everywhere. be it the media, tv programmes, internet, public.
being concerned, caring, helpful, self-sacrificing. feeling attracted. having constant thoughts of the other person. understanding the other half, trusting him/her, protecting, cheering up, feel unpleasant when something may not be right abt him/her. making each other happy, going all out to do smthing the other wants...etc.
is it all that? more than that? & also that special feeling?
i tot to myself. all tis time, that i loved her. was it really love? or was it just a persistent effort that wasnt in anyway related to love? if it was the latter, why do i even persist?
why do we humans, come into tis world to search for a person we love? why?
why do some pple fall in love so easily, yet fall out of it in a such short period time such as a few wks? why is it to some, it's so difficult to fall in love, yet whn they do, they fall out juz as fast as those who fall in one easily.
wad are we really searching for? is it bcos it's related to how we grew up? the environment that we grew up, the way we think, the way we act as we grow?
somehow, i think i've lost the understanding wad love is all abt again. i believe i still love her. & i do.
but havin' thought back to how i hav lived my life, i cant help but think do i really know waz love? details to my younger past can be imagined from wad tis blog states - the life of a lonewolf. put pretty simply, i haven really been living my life communicating much abt myself w the outside world. until the recent years that is. communicating with frens or pple of the same gender was generally a much easier task thn whn i did to the opposite, in the past. but of cos, it's only pple that more or less i know, not those who are total strangers to me.
i kinda realise that in the recent years when i started opening myself up. i do actually communicate more, rgdless of gender. but the thing here is, there's this feeling i get when i communicate with the opposite gender. it gives me a feeling of being close, of being able to share, a lot in fact. you can put it in the way of a confidante. well. somehow. taz e feeling i get. n that was probably how it all started out the way i felt for her. but the feelings somehow went beyond.
as a matter of fact, it seems to me now, that when it comes to sharing the more personal side of me, it's becoming easier but so do i get the same feeling as i did when it started (as stated above). although tis feeling feels very much similar. it doesnt seem to find its way in developing further.
but in the end, here, i've still gotta ask: so wad does the word "love" mean at the end of the day?
and whether i still love her, i cant really say anymore. i know there's still a feeling there. a feeling that i feel, i want to do anything i can for her. until i know wad love is again, probably only thn i'll return...
问世间情为何物。。。
