mulling thoughts
my previous entry had some content to this. so read up if u dn understand.
somethings are not right around here. i dno waz happening. my mind juz probably stuck on to smthing day n nite. n this doesnt happens to be GE.
is it really bcos there's too much time for my mind to wander and think of it again?
i dno if i want to know y. yet, ironically, i've been really bothered by it again & again day by day.
wadever it is...
there's more than just this thought.
since life is pretty much lifeless. since i'm jobless at current state, i've gotta find smthing to do. some new things to do. as much as i wan, asking frens to go out to try new things, practically wad i get is just rejection. just wad the hell is with the world. saying bored urself yet not wanting to try new things. saying not liking the activity when u nvr try it b4. saying tis n that. practically seems to be excuses to me. u saying u'r bored yet not wanting to try out more new things to enrich ur own life. it's not as if it's blardie bz like fucking jcs these days.
jcs. a messed up shit. i dn wna talk abt tis. it'll juz waste my effort typing.
smtimes i really wonder. is it bcos i've been a lonewolf for way too long that i dno how to ask pple to try new things w me. or is it loneliness that lies in my destiny, if so, why do i even try so hard to get her heart...
do i really have to go bac to doing things all by myself?
i hate tis world. smtimes. i hate tis country. smtimes. i hate how it works. i hate smokers. i condemned them. i hate bastards who think they so blardie righteous.
n smtimes, i hate myself...
and there r times when i really fall again, and i dno wad is going on around me yet again.
n one of those times, is now...
