an unrequited love?
will i tear again tis time? *bitter laughters* i dno man. one after another blow. it seems i'll nvr get that chance to b w her at all. everythin' i c, hear, or wadever verbs u can name, that is abt her. hmph...it's all practically against me. nth abt it seems to heighten my hopes. i really wonder is she juz tryin to run away from me, from my love, or was it an unrequited love all along...? *bitter laughs*...does it matter to her?...hahahahaha. i guess not...i guess not now anymore.
now that she's probably enjoying herself. enjoying herself w someone else. someone whom i dno. someone whom i'm not sure if she'll b happy w. if so, then i guess it's gd. n i shudder think e otherwise. n since both of them now r in e picture, a picture w all e lights on them, i guess i can only run bac to e shadows in e picture, hiding there, feeling practically numb while she enjoys herself.
i dno y. but it feels as if...as if i'm so numb alrdy. as if my heart has gone w her yet it cant feel her presence near. or as if my heart has stopped, my emotions r too hurt. i dno. i dno. i dno. i cant feel anything. yet i feel pain. n yet again. i wish i could cry. it's such a mess...
i'm lost in e middle of nowhere. i'm like stuck in sahara now, desperately trying to find a way out, yet sandstorms keep brewing, constantly disrupting my sense of direction n lvl of visibility.
i dn wanna lose her now. seriously. juz when i tot i was at least gettin' out of that waiting list, it falls bac to e same pt. tis chance, it's as gd as something i can nvr achieve. as much as i would love to achieve the impossibilities, tis is smthing beyond my control. a decision that can only b decided by her.
wad is my decision then? i dno. i wanna cont to wait. wait n wait n wait. probably forever i guess. staying in e shadows doesnt mean i cant go into e light, no matter how it goes, i'll still b there for her for anything, for wadever she needs. i'll protect her. i'll help her. i'll save her. i'll do wadever to benefit her, even beyond e limits of human or more - superhuman, n as crazy as it can get. for that word called love. even if it's unrequited...
