spirit of the phoenix
i dno how to start tis entry. i juz know that i had not made the wrong choice in making the phoenix a part of my way of life years back. that is the way a phoenix lives and behaves.
i didn really know much why i actually chose it in the start. i only knew that it has one great characteristic: it burns and dies. but it still lives and reborn from its ashes. that one character inspired me a long way, even till today. falling, failing or dying(although not literally dying) frm some obstacle doesnt stop u frm standing back up again and fight on. yes. we fall and we fail. but it's how we pick ourselves up frm the ashes and flame on once again to face against even stronger and tougher obstacles. taz wad i believe and taz why i love the phoenix. and i love myself [and not forgetting u of cos.=)]
to say that i've fully recovered frm the heartache is definitely lying to myself and you. in fact, i dn even know whn it'll recover. i'll still continue to live with that pain in my heart but that is not gna stop me from doing a whole lot of other things. and i know for sure, u wun wan me to go on wasting my life day by day. i've been thinking a lot, too much in fact. a lot from wad u said to me, and every other bit frm wad others said to me. and i feel to be myself again is wad i shld get back to. for at least i know taz the person u like.
i wun deny that i turned out thinking in a immature manner ever since i stepped on board trying for tis r/s. it made me another person. but tis has gotta changed. and it will.
i'm taking a step back to redefine the phoenix again. with a little more modifications to wad i am, wad i wna be, and wad i wna do. afterall, it's not who i am underneath, it's what i do that defines me. the way i look at it, the effort to be taken is definitely gna be painstaking. but i feel it's gna be all worth while.
the phoenix nvr dies. the flames may extinguish. but only for moments. and it relives again. each time burning with an even stronger flame which cant wait to burn bright and hot to overcome the obstacles which stand in its way.
for all i know, i'll still live strong and HOT. nth's gna kill me cos it cant. not even...ehhm...the worst case scenarios, be it physical or mental. death is physical. the spirit is what lives in me. forever. and taz wad keeps me going. for myself, my dreams and for you.
taz the soul of the phoenix.
now. on a random note.
training was bad today. AR training that is. somehow i juz couldnt get the right feeling and my glove juz cant stop slipping. darn. i need to train more. and prone is another challenge. argh. i need trainings! but i need to work! taz gotta be a solution right? hmmmmz.....
