mayb i'm juz not ready afterall
2007's coming to end. everyone knows that. and 2008 is arriving. the whole of 2007 has been a new experience for me in many aspects, and a big resting period for something else. it's abt time i end the chapter 2007 in my life, and write a whole new story for 2008. a story with much much more new challenges.
let me return back to xmas and b4.
went to macau and HK for the past 5 days before xmas eve. was pretty much a shopping trip as well as a photography trip. (imagine taking 500+ photos with a 2MP camera that is 4 years back in technology. man. TOTALLY TIRING!) anyway. wun talk abt the trip, neither would i b uploading the photos. 500+ is too many, unless there's some quick uploading and sharing site for me to do it.
bac in sg. xmas was 2 days away. got presents ready by xmas eve. celebrated xmas on the day itself as usual every year at my uncle's place. but oh well, nth much interesting abt it. juz ate, enjoy photos, receive & open presents, and adios.
wad was interesting was smthing that happen on thurs night, very late night that is. initiated a chat with her. thinking in mind she had already seen my greeting card. i was kinda lost for words on wad to say. but the thing was, she hadnt exactly receive it. it's still in her mailbox which has yet to be opened. so...phew? well, the chat went fine. but i dn even wna think abt waz gna happen after she has read the contents in my card. i sure hope she'll reply after she reads it, but i'm guessing she's gna say something that i already know.
so taz kinda it for this part of the entry, which isnt really related to the title.
now. theses tots have been going thru my mind ever since i made that final decision i wan to tell her, which was like abt a mth ago? i've been thinking, for 2008 and for the future of my future, i dno if i really wna choose to fall in love, marry, or wadsoever. of cos the sight of couples, do at times makes me jealous, makes me long for her to be by my side. but thn i think again, maybe tis aint the future i would eventually yearn for. or is tis juz a impulsive thought?
looking at myself in the future, it seems i hav a lot in mind to pursue. shooting is definitely one of them. astronomy itself, is becoming much of a hobby for me. and thn the hit drama, HEROES, is starting to fascinate me so much, that i think evolution is something truely interesting. and of cos i'm referrring to the evolution of humans. there's also quantum physics that i might take a look into, and of cos one more, that biggest, most difficult dream i wan for my life. all these things, it'll prolly take the rest of my life to do, to research, to learn, etc.
thn i ask myself. to put wad i wan in life over love. or to put love over wad i wan in life. i asked myself if i was actually ready for waz called love. to do so many things as an individual, not being tied down by many things, such as love, family, etc. is this good? or having to share all this interests, having to do all this together with someone, isnt it better? but thn again, how many out there are really that specifically crazy over tis things, and waz the chances of finding the special one within those crazy ones? i'm sure she isnt one of them, or rather most likely not one of them. and whn the world turns crazy one day, and whn doing wad i wna do has become more dangerous than it seems, waz gna happen to all those i ever loved. mayb being a lonewolf isnt that bad afterall.
but who knows, mayb that one person do really exist.
but as it is now, i cant see the difference between ready and not being ready.
