wasting time.
fuck. i juz typed something fucking long. and with a few clicks. it all disappeared. this is shit.
nvm. i shall PATIENTLY typed it out again. ARGH!!! but it'd prolly turn out shorter tis time
(great. i forgot how i started. hmmmm.)
here i am sitting in a lecture now. a lecture that i have not been attending. it's marketing lecture. but i dno whether i shld even b sitting here at all.
i haven been pretty much in the mood to study since the sch reopen last wk. or rather it stretches back all the way to the start of this semester. i totally couldnt be bothered last week. i was juz coming to sch for the sake of coming. even the slightest energy to listen wasnt present.
actually i dno wad i've been really doing in school. it feels as if i'm wasting time. seriously. wad hav i learn for the past almost-3 mths. i hardly hav an idea of an answer to that question.
there's so many things to focus on. and i hav been neglecting my sch assignments. the impending deadlines for these assignments are on its way, and i can even say that some assignments hasnt even been started. there's club matters, there's assignments, there's driving and there's training also.
so many things to settle and focus. so much so that even i got stressed up and upsetted my stomach. i couldnt even enjoy my meals lately esp. last week. and it still seems to be continuing tis week.
thn again, it comes back to the ideal of why i attend to school. and that is to learn. not for the sake of doing assignments, finish them and submit it for marks. that is juz crap if i were do to that.
reflecting back from the start of tis sem, however, i seriously hasnt made much of an effort to learn or study. common test preparations reflects that very well. it's been club club club club club club club club club club club club and club.......
it's not that i'm blaming the club or anything. but rather i find that i've been overly focus on club matters that i've neglected many things at hand as well.
i've been putting priority on club matters over studies. but at this point in time, i think it's time to switch. but it's hardly possible. i would prolly hav to distribute my priorities between tis two matters rather place priority over one.
i feel multi-tasking is so not good at all or mayb it juz aint a part of me. it's like i cant put in my all into something or a specfic area of research. it leaves me doing jobs of either average quality or even poor. the effort isnt there. and it gets worse if the tasks stacks up higher and higher. i cant stand feeling like this, esp whn i know i could hav done things much better. sometimes, i really wished i could juz focus on one thing for a few years and make it good. but with so many impt tasks, i guess it's inevitable and it's definitely not easy.
my trainings hav been affected as well. disappointing and saddening. (and i still hav prone as well). i'm not sure i'll hit my targets or fall short of my expectations tis year. i juz hope i hit them, seriously.
the hell weeks of deadlines are within the nxt 3 wks. exams are in 6 wks time. driving test is exactly in 8 wks time. and trainings? oh god. i so do not know wad will happen to it.
learning? i doubt i hav been doing that. but it's abt time i start to do so.
but i've gain one thing frm the past 3 mths:
giving urself challenges is good. too many is not gna help even if u can accomplish them. tis sem proved to have had too many goals set. but looking at tis challenges in a big pic, i think i've pushed myself pretty much to actually see how well and many i could handle in one semester.
reflecting back from the start of tis sem, however, i seriously hasnt made much of an effort to learn or study. common test preparations reflects that very well. it's been club club club club club club club club club club club club and club.......
it's not that i'm blaming the club or anything. but rather i find that i've been overly focus on club matters that i've neglected many things at hand as well.
i've been putting priority on club matters over studies. but at this point in time, i think it's time to switch. but it's hardly possible. i would prolly hav to distribute my priorities between tis two matters rather place priority over one.
i feel multi-tasking is so not good at all or mayb it juz aint a part of me. it's like i cant put in my all into something or a specfic area of research. it leaves me doing jobs of either average quality or even poor. the effort isnt there. and it gets worse if the tasks stacks up higher and higher. i cant stand feeling like this, esp whn i know i could hav done things much better. sometimes, i really wished i could juz focus on one thing for a few years and make it good. but with so many impt tasks, i guess it's inevitable and it's definitely not easy.
my trainings hav been affected as well. disappointing and saddening. (and i still hav prone as well). i'm not sure i'll hit my targets or fall short of my expectations tis year. i juz hope i hit them, seriously.
the hell weeks of deadlines are within the nxt 3 wks. exams are in 6 wks time. driving test is exactly in 8 wks time. and trainings? oh god. i so do not know wad will happen to it.
learning? i doubt i hav been doing that. but it's abt time i start to do so.
but i've gain one thing frm the past 3 mths:
giving urself challenges is good. too many is not gna help even if u can accomplish them. tis sem proved to have had too many goals set. but looking at tis challenges in a big pic, i think i've pushed myself pretty much to actually see how well and many i could handle in one semester.
