a month ago & a month later
i'm thinking this is gonna be quite a pretty long post tonight. but i'm not sure how it's gonna turn out eventually. maybe shorter than expected? well, we'll find out after i publish the post i guess...
it's been approximately a month since i have started my internship. i can't decide on how i should be describing it. though it doesn't fall into the positive side of categories of descriptions. it is more or less still alright. yeah....'alright' is probably the most suitable word to describe it at this point in time.
i guess i can't deny that i have definitely learnt certain things. some new stuff on the business side and....yeah just the business side of the business. lol. interacted with a different system. SAP to be exact. and that's about all that much i can say, since most of the work revolves around a routine cycle. it's literally the same cycle every other day with minimal variation in ad-hoc tasks.
but it's a month later now. and it's pretty much the same things happening around still. but not in my head. lately. my thoughts are coming back. just yesterday, i don't feel right for the job. i feel like there are so many conflicting emotions in me. i feel cooped up in a cubicle. and it sounds so much like any typical day job in this society. i feel like....i just feel like i'm in the wrong job. perhaps because of the people. perhaps because of the environment. and most probably perhaps of my interests and driving force.
from my understanding, it seems the allowance was one of the driving force for interns. but then it seems, that's not working on me. and then there is this thought that began quite a while back. the thought about which suits me best now. the frontline? being in the middle of the action? or the backend? i don't have a definite answer to this yet, but i guess this applies differently in different industries. in the automotive industry, i probably think i'll love it better being in the frontline. better so if it was in motorsports. but it's the backend now, so i guess i just gotta hang on and get through this. if not, i'm sure i'll pass.
from my understanding, it seems the allowance was one of the driving force for interns. but then it seems, that's not working on me. and then there is this thought that began quite a while back. the thought about which suits me best now. the frontline? being in the middle of the action? or the backend? i don't have a definite answer to this yet, but i guess this applies differently in different industries. in the automotive industry, i probably think i'll love it better being in the frontline. better so if it was in motorsports. but it's the backend now, so i guess i just gotta hang on and get through this. if not, i'm sure i'll pass.
sticking around in this job now tells me one definite thing. i can confidently say i'm not gonna stay desk-bounded and stick my head at the monitor for 8 hours a day sitting in the chair. No! No way am i gonna get comfortable in that seat!
honestly, i know very well in me that i'm not at all ready for working life. i might not ever be ready. or maybe this applies for the society here only. i have yet to pinpoint the exact reason for this yet. well i mean, since i have yet to work in a different country, of course i won't know. and maybe the reason may also be the job itself. it remains an open reason and much room for exploration.
and with that, i wonder how i'm really gonna get through another 4 months of work. equating to around 90 working days? ever since i put out that fire, things haven't seem to be getting better. rather than not, it seems to be getting worse. i hate to say it, but i kinda feel like i can be putting my life to better use instead if i don't spend 9 hours working. then again, maybe it's a matter of perspective?
i'm getting some after-thoughts too. i want to seek a life of adventure. a simple life yet filled with times of adventures. and that's exactly why i don't wanna stay desk-bounded. just today in the evening, i was looking at the newspaper. then i thought, maybe being in the middle of the action is a good idea? being a journalist? or a field reporter? okay...maybe i'll stick to journalism for a start. sounds pretty workable doesn't it? hmmm. well, i guess you gotta be in it to know it.
and in a month, there's so many things happening. unbelievably, Mother Nature has struck in consecutive days. well, almost for everything. last Saturday, Typhoon Ketsana in the Philippines cutting across to Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. Then on Tuesday, came the 8.3 earthquake around Samoa Islands which triggered a tsunami so powerful, it could reach some Japanese island, i think. And the next day, Wednesday, the 7.6 underwater earthquake in the state of Padang in Indonesia followed by a 6.8 one somewhere near Sumatra. And now there's Typhoon Parma which seems to be coming at Philippines again. something isn't right here. that's definite. but what is? this almost-round sphere that we're standing, sitting, sleeping on, is going out of control. or is it a sign about something impending? *wonders*
oh well. guess i gotta head to bed now. it's gonna be another long day ahead again. (and looks like, it is indeed a long post!)
honestly, i know very well in me that i'm not at all ready for working life. i might not ever be ready. or maybe this applies for the society here only. i have yet to pinpoint the exact reason for this yet. well i mean, since i have yet to work in a different country, of course i won't know. and maybe the reason may also be the job itself. it remains an open reason and much room for exploration.
and with that, i wonder how i'm really gonna get through another 4 months of work. equating to around 90 working days? ever since i put out that fire, things haven't seem to be getting better. rather than not, it seems to be getting worse. i hate to say it, but i kinda feel like i can be putting my life to better use instead if i don't spend 9 hours working. then again, maybe it's a matter of perspective?
i'm getting some after-thoughts too. i want to seek a life of adventure. a simple life yet filled with times of adventures. and that's exactly why i don't wanna stay desk-bounded. just today in the evening, i was looking at the newspaper. then i thought, maybe being in the middle of the action is a good idea? being a journalist? or a field reporter? okay...maybe i'll stick to journalism for a start. sounds pretty workable doesn't it? hmmm. well, i guess you gotta be in it to know it.
and in a month, there's so many things happening. unbelievably, Mother Nature has struck in consecutive days. well, almost for everything. last Saturday, Typhoon Ketsana in the Philippines cutting across to Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos. Then on Tuesday, came the 8.3 earthquake around Samoa Islands which triggered a tsunami so powerful, it could reach some Japanese island, i think. And the next day, Wednesday, the 7.6 underwater earthquake in the state of Padang in Indonesia followed by a 6.8 one somewhere near Sumatra. And now there's Typhoon Parma which seems to be coming at Philippines again. something isn't right here. that's definite. but what is? this almost-round sphere that we're standing, sitting, sleeping on, is going out of control. or is it a sign about something impending? *wonders*
oh well. guess i gotta head to bed now. it's gonna be another long day ahead again. (and looks like, it is indeed a long post!)
