wavering strength

the intensity is getting stronger
the chaos in mind is getting messier
emotions taking a roller-coaster ride
up the mountains & down the valleys

why do we, humans, always like to take things for granted?
why is it that when things have already happened that we take note of the past?
why is it that when the future is in its bleak moments that we yearn to go back in time?
i don't wish to answer. but i really wanna soak myself into the past. how i wished.

it's cold, alone.
it's scary to be left behind.
cuz there's no telling when no one's around
to watch your back
and your left & right

things are getting worse on my side
my frustration is being tested on the edge
and i need strength & encouragement

right now, all that's left of me
that replenishes the spiritual energy
is the past
and there isn't really a present concrete enough to match up to that...

what a drain of energy...
i just wish you were here..